I didnt even blink
by CMCrazies
Summary: one-shot of JJ and how she felt after 3-09 and shooting someone for the first time and what she did to help herself get through it


_**Okay so I thought id one a one shot of when JJ killed the guy in season 3 and what she did after it hope you enjoy. **_

JJ walked into her office and sat down at her desk she ran her hands through her hair and watched as her hands started to shake. She pulled them into a fist so that they would stop shaking. She couldn't believe that only 30 minutes before she had killed someone ,the first person she had ever shot and she killed him. Okay if she had not of shot him she or another member of the team would of being dead right now. JJ closed her eyes remembering it all so clearly.

_**JJ was sat in her office going over some paperwork she heard her phone ringing after a couple of rings she picked up to here Morgan's worried voice ,she listened as he told her that the unsub who had shot Garcia was in the bullpen holding Hotch Rossi and others hostage and that she needed to take the shot as she was the only one who could do it, She remembered putting down the phone and leaving her office taking a deep breath she quickly walked to the doors of the bullpen and pulled out the gun and raised it up, she watched as the unsub turned and looked at her she pulled the trigger and watched as the bullet broke through the glass and hit him straight in the head, she watched as he fell to the ground ,she lowered her gun and looked at him in shock as Hotch and Rossi looked at her, She just stood there not knowing what to do, she went blank and then felt Hotch's hand on her shoulder as he took her gun out of her hand and moved her out of the way. She lent against a spare desk as different officers and people moved around the room then seconds later the team came running in and saw the body on the floor, she saw from the corner of her eye Morgan look at Hotch and nod at her, no one knew what to say but they all just approached her.**_

JJ opened her eyes and wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheeks away, she looked at her clock and saw it was late, she decided to do what Hotch told her and go home , Since she had to be off for a couple of days since they had to clear her and do lots of paperwork, she grabbed her belongings and headed out of the building and down to her car she just wanted to go home and snuggle up in bed and cry. Once she got to her apartment she opened her door and dumped her things down and walked into her bedroom, she took off her clothes and changed into some trackie bottoms and a vest top, she walked into her bathroom and looked in the mirror and down at the sink when she spotted the share toothbrush she took a deep breath throwing water over her face. She walked back into her bedroom and got under her bed covers.

JJ picked up her phone and dialed the all familiar number; she took a deep breath waiting for them to answer,

_JJ- "hey it's me"_

_Man-"hey beautiful"_

_JJ-"I know it's late and we said we would just skip this weekend but I urmm,I really need to see you"_

_Man-"You okay JJ you seem"_

_JJ-"no Will can I come out there I just need to get away from here "_

_Will-"of course you can baby get out here as soon as you can ill be waiting text me your flight number and ill pick you up okay"_

_JJ-"okay thanks I love you"_

_Will-"I love you too see you soon"_

Once JJ had ended the call with Will she climbed out of bed and grabbed her go spare go bag and packed a few clothes and everything she would need that she didn't already have at Will's she left her apartment and drove to the airport buying a plane ticket to New Orleans.

JJ sat in the window seat on the plan it was pretty empty she sat in her own world staring out at the clouds trying to forget everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks she just wanted to break down in tears she couldn't hold anything anymore. After the plane had landed JJ walked through the airport and saw Will stood waiting for her.

She walked over to him and wrapped her body around his and placed her head into his jacket. Will wrapped his arms around her back and kissed the top of her head pulling away from her and taking hold of her hand.

_Will-"come on let's get you out of here"_

Will took her bag off her placing it on his shoulder and placed his arm around her back while she did the same and placed her head on his chest while they walked. Once they got to Will's apartment JJ sat down on the sofa while Will made them some coffee it was really late but neither of them cared.

Will sat down next to her on the sofa handing her ,her cup of coffee she smiled at him slightly taking the coffee and taking a sip of it before she placed it on the table in front of them. She looked at Will knowing he was letting her speak when she wanted to and that he wasn't going to push her that's one thing she loved about him, he would never push her he would just wait for her to say what was wrong. She pulled herself closer to Will and took his hand in hers staring down at it

_JJ-"I killed someone today"_

Will watched as JJ started down at their hands and then spoke he didn't know what to say his eyes shot up and looked at her, he could see her biting the corner of her lip, He let go of her hand and pulled her body onto his knowing she would be all over the place right now.

_Will-"It's okay come here"_

_JJ-"I just I didn't even blink I shot him right in the head through a glass door and I didn't even blink"_

_Will-"and how do you feel now?"_

_JJ-"I feel like I killed someone's son but I don't feel guilty about killing the man that shot my best friend and many other people"_

_Will-"HEY Look at me"_

JJ turned and slowly looked up into Will' eyes so she was fully concentrating on him.

_Will-"you did what you had to do you stopped a killer from killing someone else and no one not even that man's family can judge you for that you hear me"_

JJ nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes she knew Will was right and that even though it was someone's son child ,lover she only did what she could and that was stop him from hurting someone else's family. JJ lifted her head and looked up at Will not knowing how to put what she was about to ask him.

_JJ-"what happened the first time you killed someone?"_

_Will looked at JJ and nodded his head taking a deep breath before he told her what happened._

_Will-"I was still a uniform officer and me and my partner had been called out a disturbance in this shady area, when we got there we heard lots of yelling and this guy was still holding this woman by her hair and she was screaming she was pretty beaten up when we approached them we got to the guy to surrender then when we were loading him into the car the woman pulled out a gun and went to shoot my partner then I shot her without thinking."_

JJ blinked at him

_JJ-"so you saved your partners life"_

_Will-"yeah I did but that didn't make me feel any better about killing her you know. I felt that guilty I ended up at a bar and pretty much drunk myself till I couldn't move and did some pretty stupid things I wish I never would have done"_

_JJ-"what did you do to forgot?"_

_Will-"my dad made me talk to someone and it helped it really did I just wish I had someone I could of talked to about it straight away"_

_JJ-"Like I have you"_

Will nodded and kissed her head hoping he had gotten through to her that everyone feels the same when they first kill someone but It comes with the job and you get used to it.

_JJ-"I'm glad I have you"_

Before Will could reply JJ's phone started ringing she picked it up and ended the call turning her phone off she didn't want to talk to anyone but will right now all she wanted was to be alone with him. JJ turned to face Will and gave him a small smile.

_Will-"so how many days till you can go back to work?"_

_JJ-"Wednesday so we got a few days"_

_Will-"perfect"_

JJ moved closer to Will and laid in his arms as they both fell into a peaceful sleep, Will woke up a couple hours later and looked down at still sleeping JJ he smiled and moved himself away slowly placing her head onto the sofa and wrapped a blanket around her as he got up and showered ,he was glad she came to see him and not avoided and try dealing with all this by herself ,JJ was finally letting him in and that's why he loved her, and would always be there for her.

_**What did you think ?**_

'


End file.
